Sexuality and Attachment

Themes

  • the subordination of the sexual system to attachment processes under relationship-threatening circumstances.
  • the role of sex as a promoter of emotional bonds.
  • attachment orientations help explain variations in the way in people construe their sexual interactions

Ideas

  • Research has generally indicated that smooth functioning of the attachment system facilitates relaxed engagement in sexual activities and encourages the channelling of sexual desires into a committed intimate relationship, even as early as adolescence. In contrast, negative attachment experiences in childhood and the consolidation of insecure patterns of attachment are likely to impair the functioning of the sexual system in close relationships during this period and later on. In- deed, if a person feels chronically insecure about being loved, whether this is reflected in relational worries or in being uncomfortable with intimacy, it is unlikely that this person’s sexual system will function without interference. The nature of interference, however, is different between anxious and avoidant adolescents. 1
  • We found that sexual deactivation had detrimental effects on relationship satisfaction. Unsurprisingly, partners’ attachment-related avoidance perpetuated the sexual deactivation effects over time.

Reference

  1. Attachment and Sexual Mating. In Handbook of attachment.