Author’s note: It is worth exploring the history of Polyamory in popular culture. My own bias views the recent growth and popularity of non-monogamy as a reflection of late capitalist values, marking declines in intimacy, weakening of solid bonds and the commercialization of feelings. It is not my belief that confluent love is contributing to… Continue reading Polyamory

Quotes and passages

The awareness of human separation, without reunion by love–is the source of shame. It is a at the same time the source of guilt and anxiety. The deepest need of humans, then, is the need to overcome their separateness, to leave the prison of aloneness. The absolute failure to achieve this aim means insanity, because… Continue reading Quotes and passages

Caring for our children

If you look at the ethnographic accounts of band-level hunter-gatherer in Africa or Melanesia—though I’m not sure I can say this for South America—what jumps out at you is the indulgence towards children. Child abuse would not have been tolerated. Other group members would have intervened, the perpetrators socially ostracized, possibly even expelled from the… Continue reading Caring for our children


The secure pattern characterizes the infant who seeks and receives protection, reassurance, and comfort when stressed. Confident exploration is optimized because of the support and availability of the caregiver.” Handbook of Attachment. Second Edition. p. 601


Glossary of terms and definitions Quotes and Passages – 08.01.2024 updated History of Attachment Theory Internal Working Models Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder Changing our patterns Documentaries Avoidant Anxious Excessive Reassurance Seeking Trust and Jealousy Attachment Compatibility Sexual Desire Discrepancy Criticism of Attachment Theory Feminism and Attachment Theory

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Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder

When healthy attachment is missing, the development of empathy and reflectivity is inhibited. This leads to developmental failures that promote dissociation and internationalization of an unavailable and punitive object where the defense can become aggression and violence. Negative experiences may then become the only way of relating to others. Allcorn, Seth; Duncan, Carrie M. A… Continue reading Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Changing our patterns

The neurotic who is cured has really become another man, though at bottom, of course, he has remained the same; that is to say, he has become what he might have become at best under the most favorable conditions. But that is a very great deal. Freud, S. (1916–1917) Introductory Lectures on Psycho-Analysis. The above… Continue reading Changing our patterns